Wish it were better, but . . .

Okay. Birthday trip to California. Then, cleaning & Mother's day. Spring concert, sick little boy for a week, more cleaning and other stuff. *sigh* The flare started right after Mother's Day. I had to use my walker the night before my baby got REALLY sick. I couldn't use it any day after that, because I had to tend to him & carry him as needed. That was an 8-9 day stint. I aggravated it even more this past weekend when I did some work in the yard & repotted plants.

Because most of the family was ill the week after Mother's Day, I didn't take my Orencia. This week, I have a couple of open wounds, plus my nails are exposed because the false nails started coming off and ripping my nails with them.

So, here I sit. On a scale of 1-10, I'm around an 8, and that is being generous. I took one medicine to help with the fibro aspect of my illness. But my neck, hips, feet, toes, shoulders & fingers/wrists are so far in pain, I want to cry, but can't. Even typing makes my shoulders scream in pain, and I'm not moving my arms...

I'm not counting spoons, I am not asking for sympathy, I simply wanted to get this out because Rheumatoid Disease has me completely defeated.

*cries*

I am so, ugh. Pain is terrible. I want to cry. I want to crawl into bed and not leave until the pain goes away. Probably barometric pressure. but.... I am so afraid, right now, that the medicines are no longer working. If that is the case, my rheum is out of options. I can't wash dishes. I can't stand long. Folding laundry is difficult on my shoulders. I don't mean to complain, but when the pain gets this bad, it reminds me what is _really_ going on inside my body.

I used an essential oil on my neck and hands yesterday. It was one of the best things I've done. It kept my pain at bay until bed time. I should probably do it again. 

These essential oils are AMAZING. They have helped us so much. It isn't a one time, easy fix thing. For some things, it is a constant or every day thing. Like my Rheumatoid Disease pain. That is a constant thing. I have to do it daily. 

Okay, I am done complaining. 

Essential Oils

For a long time now, I've been wanting to find something "natural" to help with the pain that comes with Rheumatoid Disease. I try to not take any type of pain killer, unless I am at the end of my rope.

Last weekend, I flew to California (home) and visited with my family. One of my sisters started using essential oils for a few of her ailments. It helped her so much, she began to sell it. For my birthday gift, she gave me Deep Blue Oil Blend & Deep Blue Oil Rub. I used it on my hands, and relief was amazingly fast. My sinuses were going crazy from the flight. A peppermint beadlet that I broke in my mouth with my teeth helped clear them, then swallowing it, helped the upset stomach I was getting from nerves.

So, with these two things, and hearing how they helped with my mom, sister & brother-in-law, I was on my way to being convinced. Then I heard how it helped a young lady, who had been suffering from an unknown ailment. Something doctors couldn't figure out, no matter how many tests they did. There was no more indecision in what I needed to do.

I now can sell the products. I bought a kit for the family. It has helped my daughter with her eczema. Me with a headache & TMJ. I am SO excited. I am going to make bath salts with peppermint & lavender. One to help with my pain and the other to calm my body.

I am so glad to have found something that can help me with pain management and other ailments. They also help with cleaning and one blend has been known to kill MRSA.

This is not a cure, by any means, but a way to naturally get relief.

Folic Acid, B-Complex -- A MUST

When I hear anemia, I immediately think of the need for iron in my blood. However, after the past few days, I have learned differently.

My rheum has always told me to take my Folic Acid because it will help with the side effects of MTX like upset stomach & hair loss. Never did I realize until I did research that it also helps with the reproduction of red blood cells. 

With MTX & Orencia on my medicine list every week, my RBC count is always on the low side. I never realized that this can cause anemia, because there is less O2 in my blood stream.

I was having breathing problems because my heart was on overdrive. I felt completely horrible. I thought I was having a heart attack, in all honesty. 

Between research, talking to a nurse & my doc, I figured out what was behind the problems. So, I took a B-Complex vitamin & Folic Acid. After 4 hours, my blood pressure began to return to normal, as did my pulse. Even the headache disappeared. 

So, something I thought was really not "important" turned out to be VERY important. PLEASES, if you are reading this and decide to not take vitamins, think again. 

Can I please schedule pain/inflammation??

It would be SO cool if we could schedule our pain and inflammation day(s) to jive with our schedules. 

After having wonderful labs a couple of weeks ago, I went into a massive flare. I know there is the joke/saying, "I don't have time for that." However, for me, it ISN'T a joke. I was supposed to help with district track meets this week in the concession stands. I couldn't do it, because there was so much pain, all over, and it just wouldn't go away.

I have been bordering on calling my rheum and begging for some sort of pain killer. I want to cry, but it will do no good at all. MTX and Oriencia are taking a long time to kick into my system. Hopefully, with this Friday's dose, it will kick in faster.

Between last week's storm and the wonky barometric pressure, it's crazy. It is EVERY joint. Neck, jaw, shoulders, elbows, entire wrist & hands, ribs, sternum, I really don't need to keep listing. 

I have so many things that need to be done in the house. Sort & start laundry, clean the living room, finish moving my "office" back upstairs to the _real_ office. But without relief in energy & pain, those things are a little hard to accomplish.
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Today, I took my daughter to get her blood tested. Something I probably should have had done to myself ages ago. She has so many of the symptoms. We should know SOMETHING in the next few days.

Going Well

Orencia seems to be doing well for me. As long as I have no issues that require antibiotics, I take it weekly. I still have to remember not to overdo things. Like working my tail off in the yard to get rid of weeds. I will have to break down and actually call a place who can treat our yard. We can actually afford it now, so it will be easier.

My daughter is experiencing joint pain. She also gets sick quite easily. I am going to have her pediatrician do testing, but I also need to see if I can find a pediatric rheumatologist for her. I don't want this for her. But if we can catch it early...

Just wanted to post something positive about myself, at least. <3

RD + Antibiotics = No Biologic

After seeing a dermatologist 2 weeks ago, I found out I have numular eczema, psoriasis, and seborreic dermatitis. Oh, and with the psoriasis, because I could not find anyone who could treat it properly, let alone listen to me, I had a staph infection in it. I also think it was on my face, too, where the Seb Derm is. I am finally off the antibiotic, but can't take the biologic until next week. I think this is the benefit of self injection over infusion.

The external inflammation is not so bad. There is internal inflammation, though, and I can certainly feel that. The pain in my hands, neck, hips, knees, shoulders. Yeah, it's all there. Kind of annoying, but I can live with it, simply because I found another doctor who listened to me, and that has been 10 years searching. Yes, even though I hurt, I am not upset/sad, because it is for a good reason.

Someone who has known me for quite some time, asked about my RD today. I explained about my surgery 8 months ago, about my medications. "Well, it's bound to get better." Was the response. Even after YEARS of explaining there is no cure, it baffles me how people just don't seem to understand at all. I understand the desire to feel positive, and I appreciate the sentiments. Truly. But sometimes, I just get confused. I am definitely guilty of just conceding, and saying, "Yep, you are right."

I try my hardest to not be a "me to" person or try to "one up" others. It is hard sometimes, because I do find myself around others who seem to thrive on doing so. I have spoons. Most of the time, I am out of the daily allotment before 1:00 PM. But I don't stop. I keep going. I HAVE TO. There are days when I feel like I have nothing left in me, but I do things anyway. And I do it with a smile, most times. It isn't until I am solo or at home that I "relax" and release. Sadly, I just don't like the fact my children have to see me like this. It truly bothers me more than anyone will ever know.