After seeing a dermatologist 2 weeks ago, I found out I have numular eczema, psoriasis, and seborreic dermatitis. Oh, and with the psoriasis, because I could not find anyone who could treat it properly, let alone listen to me, I had a staph infection in it. I also think it was on my face, too, where the Seb Derm is. I am finally off the antibiotic, but can't take the biologic until next week. I think this is the benefit of self injection over infusion.
The external inflammation is not so bad. There is internal inflammation, though, and I can certainly feel that. The pain in my hands, neck, hips, knees, shoulders. Yeah, it's all there. Kind of annoying, but I can live with it, simply because I found another doctor who listened to me, and that has been 10 years searching. Yes, even though I hurt, I am not upset/sad, because it is for a good reason.
Someone who has known me for quite some time, asked about my RD today. I explained about my surgery 8 months ago, about my medications. "Well, it's bound to get better." Was the response. Even after YEARS of explaining there is no cure, it baffles me how people just don't seem to understand at all. I understand the desire to feel positive, and I appreciate the sentiments. Truly. But sometimes, I just get confused. I am definitely guilty of just conceding, and saying, "Yep, you are right."
I try my hardest to not be a "me to" person or try to "one up" others. It is hard sometimes, because I do find myself around others who seem to thrive on doing so. I have spoons. Most of the time, I am out of the daily allotment before 1:00 PM. But I don't stop. I keep going. I HAVE TO. There are days when I feel like I have nothing left in me, but I do things anyway. And I do it with a smile, most times. It isn't until I am solo or at home that I "relax" and release. Sadly, I just don't like the fact my children have to see me like this. It truly bothers me more than anyone will ever know.