Monday, June 30, 2014

Time gets away from me

Time seems to get away from me. Since I have returned from California on 4 May, my Rheumatoid Disease has been in a flare. My essential oils have been amazing at helping me get through the day. They have also kept me from getting sick, when everyone else around me is sick.

It is really sad, though, that when it comes to getting my weekly shots, my husband said to me, "No, not going to give it to you." (half jokingly) Then he pauses and says, "They don't work anyway." My reply, "You've noticed? I thought I was the only one who noticed that."

I forgot my MTX this past weekend. It is too late to get it now. I will just wait until this Friday. Orencia is either today or tomorrow.

I am still trying to do everything I can around the house and yard. I find it is easier for me to do yard stuff than house stuff. Maybe because I am "communing" with nature. I take more breaks than I really want to take, because the joints start hurting like crazy. For me, it is most annoying.

The other day I helped a friend who had to move from her house. I wouldn't stop for a break, because I knew if I did, I'd feel the pain. I couldn't afford to feel it that day. She was in need of help, and I was not about to let her down. When we did stop, though, to go to her new apartment, my body pretty much revolted against me. My legs went numb and I couldn't walk anymore. I was exhausted physically from the work, my joints were inflamed beyond belief, and the mental exhaustion was unbearable because I forced myself to conceal the pain I was feeling, not just from others, but from myself.

Today, I woke up with extremely swollen hands, tender elbows, shoulders, hips and feet. My knees are not too terribly bad, yet. It seems the joints I use the most (hands/feet) are the ones in the most pain.

Then, add into the equation my neck, which likes to move this way and that, causing not only an annoyance, but neck pain & periodic headaches. I truly just want to crawl under a rock and hide for a while. 

Last night, the only way I was able to fall asleep, was to take 1 Tylenol PM. If I took 2, I would be out all day today. I could not find a position where my hands & legs felt comfortable simultaneously. I could get one area, but never the other. Thankfully, the medicine kicked in and I was able to rest a bit.

The one thing that scares me most about all this, my doctor said she is out of options for me if Orencia stops working. UGH......Add that stress to the rest of the disease stress and I worry far too much.